Finding purpose through pain: How rock bottom fuels growth

My Rock Bottom Moment and How It Changed Me

A few months after moving to Phoenix, I got a call that shattered me. The courthouse notified me that my daughter’s mother was seeking full custody, without visitation. I was already struggling to land interviews, my savings were disappearing faster than I had planned, and a torn meniscus meant I couldn't even rely on sports or the gym as an outlet. My daily routine had collapsed, and I felt completely lost.

Then, a memory of my daughter hit me like a brick. We had gone to Target one afternoon and bought remote-control fighting robots. She named them “Robot Dad” and “Robot Haisley.” When she got frustrated with the controller, she just grabbed her robot, smashed mine with her hands, and laughed because she “won.” I realized moments like that would become rare—if they happened at all.

That night in the shower, I broke down. I had never felt sorrow like that before. The life I had built, the future I envisioned, was gone.

What I Learned in the Struggle

At first, I was drowning in sadness. I was scared to start over, afraid to make any decision because I might make things worse. I hated that I had no control over the situation. But at some point, I reached a breaking point, where there was nothing left to lose.

I stopped trying to hold onto the past and started focusing on what I could control. That shift led me to redefine my values. Instead of basing my happiness on people or circumstances, I started prioritizing curiosity, honesty, and discipline. I realized that success isn't just about making money—it’s about fulfillment. And I wasn’t fulfilled.

One of my biggest lessons? My mind is both my greatest strength and my greatest weakness. I’m imaginative, but when I let my thoughts spiral, I sink into anxiety. Learning to redirect that energy became a critical part of my rebuilding process.

How I Started Rebuilding

The first thing I had to change was my mornings. I stopped sleeping in and used Mel Robbins’ 5-second rule to force myself out of bed. That small win gave me momentum.

Then I reintroduced myself to reading, something I had forgotten I loved. That led to writing again. And from there, I fully committed to rebuilding my life—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I started therapy and joined group sessions. I went back to church for the first time in years and had deep conversations with my pastor about finding purpose. I became a regular at the gym, cleaned up my diet, and even started TRT to optimize my health.

But the hardest part? Patience.

I wanted to snap my fingers and feel better, to have a new purpose overnight. But healing doesn’t work like that. I had to sit in the discomfort, trust the process, and take things one step at a time.

How Rock Bottom Led Me to My Purpose

When I let go of my old life, I finally saw what really mattered.

I realized that my real passion wasn’t marketing, it was learning, sharing knowledge, and helping others rebuild their lives. The pain I went through gave me the courage to tear down the business I had spent years building and start fresh with something that aligned with who I was becoming.

That’s how I Wish More was born.

My new mission? To be the person I needed when I was at my lowest. To share knowledge, stories, and tools that help others navigate their own rock bottom and come out stronger.

If You’re Struggling, Here’s What You Need to Know

I wish I had seen the signs before I hit rock bottom. I didn’t realize how bad things were until it was too late. But if you’re reading this and feel like you’re at your lowest, know this: pain is a teacher, not a death sentence.

Pain isn’t the problem, it’s a symptom. It’s telling you something needs to change. The question is: Will you listen?

How to Use Pain as Fuel for Growth

1. Move your body. Go for a walk, hit the gym, just do something. Action disrupts overthinking.
   
   
2. Simplify your life. Cut out distractions, bad habits, and anything that drains your energy.
   
   
3. Write down a daily task list. Keep it simple. Small wins create momentum.
   
   
4. Read one chapter a day. Autobiographies are great because they’re real and relatable.
   
   
5. Clean up your diet. Stick to whole foods, eggs, steak, fish, berries, and potatoes. Fuel your body right. I add in a breakfast burrito or bagel occasionally to make some mornings rewarding.
   
   
6. Limit or eliminate alcohol. Clarity comes when you stop numbing yourself.
   
   

This isn’t about overnight transformation, it’s about building a solid foundation so you never have to hit this level of pain again.

If you’re at rock bottom, you’re standing at the start of something new. The question is: Who will you become?